28 lines
4.2 KiB
Markdown
28 lines
4.2 KiB
Markdown
Hey guys;
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Too often our family chooses the silent option and ices someone out versus simply addressing an issue so I’m not going to beat around the bush here. Fair warning though, I’m not looking for a dialogue here and am simply writing this as an FYI: Abby and I are simply tired of the “anti-Derek” rhetoric that seems to be coming for your household and aren’t going to tolerate it any longer.
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Alice has been simply nasty to me for quite a while to the point where not only have i noticed it but Abby and other family members have made comments. We have let this slide as she is a child and we didn’t really know where this is coming from. However, yesterday illustrated where we feel this is coming from and it’s you two. You guys have absolutely zero right to speak negatively about me not only in front of my wife but also in front of our very impressionable toddler. Especially Christina who works in the education system with children for Christ’s sake.
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We aren’t exposing Kane to this and as long as your family chooses to foster such negative feelings towards family members, he won’t be seeing them. And no, we aren’t going to tell him he can’t see you guys or his cousins because of any negative reasons; simply that we aren’t going to be around people who don’t have nice things to say - which really is the truth.
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Once again, I don’t need a dialogue here and am just going to block your numbers for the week so we can all cool off. We can touch base later in the week and decide how you guys want to move forward here because I don’t think I’m being unclear with how we’re going to deal with this if this is going to continue to be an issue.
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# Response
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- I understand your want to leave last night and explaining to Kane you wouldn’t want to be there if people aren’t going to say nice things
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- It would be frustrating I’m sure to feel that other people in the family have a negative view of you or an “anti-Derek” rhetoric
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- Alice is becoming young adult developing a strong sense of self and of what right and wrong is based on what we have taught her is an acceptable way to treat another person
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- The actions she has seen you do and deem acceptable is not something that sits well with her and she decided to voice them
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- We did mention to Alice that the only thing differently she could have done in that situation is address your comment first
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- Frankly, based on recent behaviour observed at the cottage when I was there and what was relayed to me while in Hawaii is nothing short of concerning and more than enough reason to have Alice develop her own opinion of you
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- The way you choose to act in front of our family has not gone unnoticed and by extension our own families
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- The conversation around you being late only came up after Abby mentioned it and all siblings and dad were joking around and yet Christina was the only one singled out on this
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- If we are being honest, you are not usually a topic of conversation amongst the family when you are not there until Abby mentions something negative and draws the conversation onto you
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- As for you not wanting to see family members based on whatever your reasoning that’s completely within your right and we have no issue with this
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- I am sure the kids will be heart broken about not being able to see Kane as they adore hanging out with him
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- It’s probably for the best that we don’t see Kane, Abby or yourself and subject ourselves and by extension our children to the embarrassing way you react when things don’t go your way (can’t find the bread incident at the cottage is a great example) in addition to other concerning behaviours.
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- I am curious about other examples outside of last week of Alice being “nasty” to you that you are mentioning as we can only deal with information we know about. To our knowledge this has not been an issue mentioned to us and have not seen or heard anything ourselves
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- I would suggest that you re-evaluate looking inward and how you treat people before suggesting it is us fostering negative attitudes toward you that has led Alice to such a strong conclusion
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- Hope this helps and we have already spoken to Alice about the only change needed being not deflecting on what you said and answering it before saying what she wanted to say |