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memory-infrastructure-palace/docs/projects/memorypalace/Apple Notes/Dec 18 2022.md

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- [ ] Upset that yesterday seemed to focus on her not using framework properly
- [ ] Take ownership that the comment was her opinion over feelings
- [ ] Asked for time and space for feeling to share
- [ ] No judgement or expectation
- [ ] Asked to clarify when I was talking about and tried to replay the scenarios
- [ ] Used to turn around on her
- [ ] Not that she doesnt want to hear opinion or feelings but wasnt right time
- [ ] She asked first so listen
- [ ] Sucks that it escalated to me raising voice and she asked to lower voice
- [ ] Upsetting when matched voice to hers
- [ ] Upsetting to her how mean I can be when Im upset
- [ ] Acknowledge that how I talk to her isnt ok
- [ ] Hasnt seen a change or improvement
- [ ] But because of framework and breaks
- [ ] When framework isnt used default is to lash out and attack her
- [ ] Its not ok
- [ ] Trying to get across last night
- [ ] She didnt care was meaning I didnt have the right to treat her like crap
- [ ] I could choose to remove myself
- [ ] She isnt going to use framework every time but not a pass to treat her like garbage
- [ ] When I lash out like I do makes it so she doesnt want to be around me
- [ ] Not much positives to pull from
- [ ] Already on empty
- [ ] Already dont feel important
- [ ] Dont feel cherished or treasured like a life partner
- [ ] Nothing left to fill her back up and it sucks
- [ ] Makes it so she isnt able to be the parent that she wants to be
- [ ] Has very real and negative consequences on mental health and self worth
- [ ] Want to know I have a plan to fix it
- [ ] Sorry isnt good enough
- [ ] Hope I will be able to put some time and energy into it
Notes:
#Christina