2.5 KiB
2.5 KiB
- Feel disappointed and uncared for from the conversation this morning
- Felt unheard and judged which then makes it hard to see my point of view
- Felt overwhelmed and upset regarding the convo about the kids and adhd and she let me know that in the kitchen
- Feel frustrated and she is upset that I say what’s up that it’s on her to regulate the conversation and let me know up front what she wants
- She feels it’s an unfair expectation
- If she is upset and I am asking the question and starting the convo she would expect I take the lead on it
- This is different than when we talked about her doing this bc I asked the question….
- Either leave her alone or be prepared to hear feelings as it’s not fair me asked her
- She deeply resents me asking what’s up but not being able to hear feelings
- For example if I said I see she is upset can she share without sharing feelings
- This gives a chance to think and then let me know yes or no
- Also possible I might not get an answer to me being curious if I can’t listen to her feelings
- If she is already upset it’s not a fair expectation to not share feelings
- If she is feeling upset and it’s visible enough to me
- The convo this morning at the table made her feel more sad and overwhelmed
- It reinforced she needs to change herself to meet others needs
- And that there isn’t anyone who can take care of her and hold space for her when she is upset in the way that works best for her
- Overall this morning she was feeling really sad and she was processing through something and she really wished she felt like I was there for her
- I chose to enter into a conversation asking what’s up but left her high and dry
- She finds it’s to be disrespectful when I ask what’s up and not be ready for a feelings based convo when she is visibly upset (crying, etc)
- Finds it lowkey annoying when she sighs and I ask what’s is up as well but understands I need the reassurance…
- Turning it back on her giving her suggestions and ways she could have felt heard was annoying
- Just leave her alone to work through it and she reaches out if she needs to share or be prepared for a feelings conversation as she needed me to be there for her
Actions
- Going forward when seeing she is upset DO NOT ASK WHATS UP
- Don’t expect her to conform to the way I process things when I ask this…
- if I do be available to listen to her feelings and conform to listening and dressing her in a way to make her feel heard