- [ ] Feel disappointed and uncared for from the conversation this morning
- [ ] Felt unheard and judged which then makes it hard to see my point of view
- [ ] Felt overwhelmed and upset regarding the convo about the kids and adhd and she let me know that in the kitchen
- [ ] Feel frustrated and she is upset that I say what’s up that it’s on her to regulate the conversation and let me know up front what she wants
- [ ] She feels it’s an unfair expectation
- [ ] If she is upset and I am asking the question and starting the convo she would expect I take the lead on it
	- [ ] This is different than when we talked about her doing this bc I asked the question….
	- [ ] Either leave her alone or be prepared to hear feelings as it’s not fair me asked her
	- [ ] She deeply resents me asking what’s up but not being able to hear feelings
- [ ] For example if I said I see she is upset can she share without sharing feelings
- [ ] This gives a chance to think and then let me know yes or no
- [ ] Also possible I might not get an answer to me being curious if I can’t listen to her feelings
- [ ] If she is already upset it’s not a fair expectation to not share feelings
- [ ] If she is feeling upset and it’s visible enough to me
- [ ] The convo this morning at the table made her feel more sad and overwhelmed 
- [ ] It reinforced she needs to change herself to meet others needs 
- [ ] And that there isn’t anyone who can take care of her and hold space for her when she is upset in the way that works best for her
- [ ] Overall this morning she was feeling really sad and she was processing through something and she really wished she felt like I was there for her
- [ ] I chose to enter into a conversation asking what’s up but left her high and dry
- [ ] She finds it’s to be disrespectful when I ask what’s up and not  be ready for a feelings based convo when she is visibly upset (crying, etc)
- [ ] Finds it lowkey annoying when she sighs and I ask what’s is up as well but understands I need the reassurance…
- [ ] Turning it back on her giving her suggestions and ways she could have felt heard was annoying
- [ ] Just leave her alone to work through it and she reaches out if she needs to share or be prepared for a feelings conversation as she needed me to be there for her

Actions
- [ ] Going forward when seeing she is upset DO NOT ASK WHATS UP 
- [ ] Don’t expect her to conform to the way I process things when I ask this…
- [ ] if I do be available to listen to her feelings and conform to listening and dressing her in a way to make her feel heard