Files
memory-infrastructure-palace/docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina feelings - July 14 2025.md

3.8 KiB
Raw Blame History

  • First off if she is sharing her feelings and I am asking to make an observation she would appreciate it being kept short and appreciate checking in to see if she is good along the way

  • She doesnt appreciate the way I treated her or talked to her today

  • She is exhausted trying to meet the emotional needs of the kids and at this point she would rather not talk or interact with me

  • Just leaves her feeling terrible

  • She feels frustrated and sad that this continued resentment keeps being brought often into interactions

  • She cant get out from underneath the weight of how frustrated I can be with you and how upset I am by it

  • I said I dont know how to let it go or have it all come flooding back but she cant keep doing this

  • She is exhausted

  • It doesnt feel like there is space for her to need things or for me to take the lead and take care of her

  • She needs more than what shes getting from me right now emotionally

  • She was looking forward to me going away this weekend because its emotionally more peaceful for her

  • Yes its harder and more work being the only parent and its exhausting but right now the relationship with me is exhausting too

  • Feel like she is second guessing everything she say and how it could be better for me

  • She gets lost along the way in what she needs or what she is feeling and her mattering

  • She cant keep living with this resentment I keep bringing into interactions and its not fair

  • She is tired and she is sad

Clarifying questions

  • Did I mention resentment and where?

    • Me mentioning my resentment and it flooding back during convo over lunch and this mornings walk
      • It was in regards to the instagram post she sent
      • I seemed frustrated and she tied that to me being resentful and does not want to know why I was frustrated (my point of view)
      • I dont remember saying these things but wanted to share what I was trying to say
      • Not in a place to listen to my feelings right now
    • Doesnt feel comfortable and dread talking to me
    • One small thing can change things and the next day is shit
    • She is tired and she is sad
  • What does that mean for us in her mind

    • She doesnt know
    • She doesnt like the feeling of relief that I was going to be away that she was looking forward to me not being in the house because it would be easier emotionally for her
    • She needs to feel safe to make mistakes and not a lingering resentment hanging over her
    • She needs to feel safe with me and that I have her back when she needs it not make whatever situation she is in harder
    • She says she loves me and cares for me but she is feeling really beaten down right now
  • She is exhausted from feeling like garbage and she isnt good enough and she cant make mistakes

  • Smallest convo with me can go sideways and leads to friction and feeling emotionally unsafe around me for sometimes days

  • She cant do it anymore

  • She cant keep doing it and keep showing up for the kids the way they need

  • She has nothing left and dont want to keep fighting to get a scrap of empathy or concern for her or for having her needs be important

Stems back to convo we have had for months and thats how I treat her when Im frustrated and how I treat her when things go an unexpected way for me

  • I think somethings going to happen and its different and how I treat her after
  • Generally unkind and not respectful

Actions

  • Keep observations short
  • Checking when making observations to make sure good to continue (still Christinas time to talk and share feelings)
  • Take a step back and breath before answering in harder convos

She is feeling heard out and nothing else to share