- [ ] First off if she is sharing her feelings and I am asking to make an observation she would appreciate it being kept short and appreciate checking in to see if she is good along the way
- [ ] She doesn’t appreciate the way I treated her or talked to her today

- [ ] She is exhausted trying to meet the emotional needs of the kids and at this point she would rather not talk or interact with me
- [ ] Just leaves her feeling terrible
- [ ] She feels frustrated and sad that this continued resentment keeps being brought often into interactions 
- [ ] She can’t get out from underneath the weight of how frustrated I can be with you and how upset I am by it
- [ ] I said I don’t know how to let it go or have it all come flooding back but she can’t keep doing this
- [ ] She is exhausted
- [ ] It doesn’t feel like there is space for her to need things or for me to take the lead and take care of her
- [ ] She needs more than what she’s getting from me right now emotionally 
- [ ] She was looking forward to me going away this weekend because it’s emotionally more peaceful for her
- [ ] Yes it’s harder and more work being the only parent and it’s exhausting but right now the relationship with me is exhausting too
- [ ] Feel like she is second guessing everything she say and how it could be better for me
- [ ] She gets lost along the way in what she needs or what she is feeling and her mattering
- [ ] She can’t keep living with this resentment I keep bringing into interactions and it’s not fair
- [ ] She is tired and she is sad 


Clarifying questions
- [ ] Did I mention resentment and where?
	- [ ] Me mentioning my resentment and it flooding back during convo over lunch and this mornings walk
		- [ ] It was in regards to the instagram post she sent 
		- [ ] I seemed frustrated and she tied that to me being resentful and does not want to know why I was frustrated (my point of view)
		- [ ] I don’t remember saying these things but wanted to share what I was trying to say 
		- [ ] Not in a place to listen to my feelings right now
	- [ ] Doesn’t feel comfortable and dread talking to me
	- [ ] One small thing can change things and the next day is shit
	- [ ] She is tired and she is sad
- [ ] What does that mean for us in her mind 
	- [ ] She doesn’t know
	- [ ] She doesn’t like the feeling of relief that I was going to be away that she was looking forward to me not being in the house because it would be easier emotionally for her
	- [ ] She needs to feel safe to make mistakes and not a lingering resentment hanging over her
	- [ ] She needs to feel safe with me and that I have her back when she needs it not make whatever situation she is in harder
	- [ ] She says she loves me and cares for me but she is feeling really beaten down right now

- [ ] She is exhausted from feeling like garbage and she isn’t good enough and she can’t make mistakes
- [ ] Smallest convo with me can go sideways and leads to friction and feeling emotionally unsafe around me for sometimes days
- [ ] She can’t do it anymore 
- [ ] She can’t keep doing it and keep showing up for the kids the way they need
- [ ] She has nothing left and don’t want to keep fighting to get a scrap of empathy or concern for her or for having her needs be important 

Stems back to convo we have had for months and that’s how I treat her when I’m frustrated and how I treat her when things go an unexpected way for me
- I think somethings going to happen and it’s different and how I treat her after
- Generally unkind and not respectful


Actions
- [ ] Keep observations short
- [ ] Checking when making observations to make sure good to continue (still Christina’s time to talk and share feelings)
- [ ] Take a step back and breath before answering in harder convos

She is feeling heard out and nothing else to share