3.5 KiB
3.5 KiB
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Explaining why she didn’t ask questions this morning and just assumed things when I wrote in discord
- She was feeling anxious this morning
- She was in her own head overthinking wanting to do the right thing to help me
- She was anxious that she was bothering me and that I didn’t want to talk to her
- So she was acknowledging my feelings in the format I set out without burdening me with her presence
- Yes I have said I would never be bothered by her asking. That doesn’t stop the swirling thoughts she has or the mental gymnastics of overthinking she does
- She wishes I would stop saying it’s as simple as asking or that she would just be curious
- For her it’s not always simple or easy or as obvious as it is to me
- She doesn’t want to feel shame when she gets it wrong
- She understands it’s important and she wants to meet this need for me
- Sure it’s only been two times and to her it was progress and she was proud of until today
- It’s not that she sees the answer of oh be curious and then go left and do something else
- That is one of 100 things swirling around in her brain in those moments when she is feeling anxious
- Yes some of that is past trauma from me lashing out
- She also is an over thinker by nature
- I have mentioned this before asking a question and she comes up with an answer and then other answers after
- Feels like always trying to be mentally over prepared
- She understands now and she will try her best when I write something in the discord chat, she will ask if I want to talk or if I am able to talk
- This morning is new and she got in her head about it and got anxious
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What yesterday afternoon felt like for you
- She understand that I perceived the situation as urgent and I didn’t think to turn off the stove and needed to get your attention
- Sorry for snapping
- Sorry for not listening
- She was trying to do multiple things down stairs
- Hearing me call her name multiple times was pulling her out of what she was trying to read down stairs and was frustrating bc I was interrupting something she was doing
- So she couldn’t get back upstairs and tend to dinner
- We have previously agreed on not calling through the house multiple times and it was frustrating and disrespectful of her time
- She had her arms full of Chromebook, papers and a stack of laundry
- She was focusing on getting up the stairs without dropping or falling
- When I popped up at the top of the stairs it startled her
- It made her feel overwhelmed that she was being pulled in too many directions
- She then went into the kitchen to see what was going on with the pasta
- Still feeling overwhelmed and startled and then needed to navigate what my intentions were without asking
- While she was visibly overstimulated breathing heavy trying to get her bearings
- Felt disrespectful and her emotional needs were not being considered to get her feet under her
- She is human and she is going to make mistakes, going to be short tempered and snap
- She understands saying what the way she did was rude
- She felt extremely overburdened in that moment.
Actions:
- Look for you in the house to get your attention even if I perceive it’s an emergency
- Try and give you more grace as you have asked before
- Or. Just leave it be and let whatever was going to happen happen