4.4 KiB
#Christina #Feelings - Sept 4th 2023
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Feels defeating when not asking to share feelings
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Held against her the disparity how often we share our feeling when not in her control
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Important to ask to share to set up for success
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Given same opportunity to drop into framework and feel successful
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Able to share feelings
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Not saying it’s not on her to try and be mindful and drop in if possible
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Since last time we talk not a single time I’ve asked to talk
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She does it
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Would appreciate it if need to ask for a break not after I’ve said something triggering
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Feels frustrating
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Trying to get ready and out the door kept asking for
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It falls to wayside
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If she is upset I do it once or twice
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Makes her feel like a team
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If she sees me not helping it’s a lot of mental load on her
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Me telling her she got to talk with her friends she can still be in a deficit
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She got to talk to friends but wasn’t without the kids
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She did all the lead up work
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Looking at one small moment instead of the overall picture
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She is still worn down try and understand that
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Not for me to decide when she feels burnt out
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Overall looking at what she has going on
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Hurtful comment about switching over laundry
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She feels like mental load of collecting the laundry and the whole process is on her
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Often the stuff she does is invisible Tupperware cupboard and other things
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She ended up doing it anyways even tho it was a joke bc it wasn’t done before she went to bed
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Overall not wanting to harp on all these things
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Just understand how your feeling
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She has been agitated and frustrated lately but a reason for that
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Tried to let me know tired and worn down
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Gone for a very long time
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Plans changed bc of Covid
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Asked to plan a date night / bday dinner
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But honestly don’t feel as important as Pokémon stuff going on
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Don’t feel like I’ve put in effort got lessen burden and appreciated
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Loved and special to me
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Since I’ve been home community days and streaming
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Before I left CD I did
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Didn’t get help I said I was going to do and give her help at cottage
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Looking for more from me right now
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Didn’t plan a day to go over Hiroshima pictures
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She thinks she has been understanding of all events going on
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Me not being here and all the summer things
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I’m still doing streaming and CD things she is left holding the bag
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Feels taken advantage of from the fam right now
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All the little things she gives up like her online job
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All these little micro concessions she gives up for our family are never seen or acknowledged
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Would feel really nice to feel like some effort was put in to show her I appreciate her
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I care and love her
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Don’t think the time and effort I put into Pokémon stuff is equal to what I do for her
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This isn’t coming out of no where it’s been happening for a while
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A simple thank you goes a long way
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Thing from 2-5 when she asked if I enjoyed it my first thought was combative not gratitude
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Didn’t check the calendar
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Didn’t say thanks for that time…
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She usually prompts afterwards asking how it went
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She is feeling very broken down right now needs help building back up
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It’s exhausting fighting all the time
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If her bucket is bone dry how is she supposed to listen especially when not asked
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At the end of the day she wants want to feel cared for
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She things you do things daily to show me she cares for me like making breakfast or buying shorts
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Would be really nice to feel family has her back when she needs it
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- Actions
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More effort into showing I love and care for her
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More gratitude for things she does
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An opportunity to look at and understand it
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Thought she was being clear she needs more from me
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Making it clear and plain the expectation
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Sucks when I don’t come to the realization and she has to point it out
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She doesn’t want to fight anymore
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Want to break cycle of bickering with each other