#Christina #Feelings - Sept 4th 2023 - [ ] Feels defeating when not asking to share feelings - [ ] Held against her the disparity how often we share our feeling when not in her control - [ ] Important to ask to share to set up for success - [ ] Given same opportunity to drop into framework and feel successful - [ ] Able to share feelings - [ ] Not saying it’s not on her to try and be mindful and drop in if possible - [ ] Since last time we talk not a single time I’ve asked to talk - [ ] She does it - [ ] Would appreciate it if need to ask for a break not after I’ve said something triggering - [ ] Feels frustrating - [ ] Trying to get ready and out the door kept asking for - [ ] It falls to wayside - [ ] If she is upset I do it once or twice - [ ] Makes her feel like a team - [ ] If she sees me not helping it’s a lot of mental load on her - [ ] Me telling her she got to talk with her friends she can still be in a deficit - [ ] She got to talk to friends but wasn’t without the kids - [ ] She did all the lead up work - [ ] Looking at one small moment instead of the overall picture - [ ] She is still worn down try and understand that - [ ] Not for me to decide when she feels burnt out - [ ] Overall looking at what she has going on - [ ] Hurtful comment about switching over laundry - [ ] She feels like mental load of collecting the laundry and the whole process is on her - [ ] Often the stuff she does is invisible Tupperware cupboard and other things - [ ] She ended up doing it anyways even tho it was a joke bc it wasn’t done before she went to bed - [ ] Overall not wanting to harp on all these things - [ ] Just understand how your feeling - [ ] She has been agitated and frustrated lately but a reason for that - [ ] Tried to let me know tired and worn down - [ ] Gone for a very long time - [ ] Plans changed bc of Covid - [ ] Asked to plan a date night / bday dinner - [ ] But honestly don’t feel as important as Pokémon stuff going on - [ ] Don’t feel like I’ve put in effort got lessen burden and appreciated - [ ] Loved and special to me - [ ] Since I’ve been home community days and streaming - [ ] Before I left CD I did - [ ] Didn’t get help I said I was going to do and give her help at cottage - [ ] Looking for more from me right now - [ ] Didn’t plan a day to go over Hiroshima pictures - [ ] She thinks she has been understanding of all events going on - [ ] Me not being here and all the summer things - [ ] I’m still doing streaming and CD things she is left holding the bag - [ ] Feels taken advantage of from the fam right now - [ ] All the little things she gives up like her online job - [ ] All these little micro concessions she gives up for our family are never seen or acknowledged - [ ] Would feel really nice to feel like some effort was put in to show her I appreciate her - [ ] I care and love her - [ ] Don’t think the time and effort I put into Pokémon stuff is equal to what I do for her - [ ] This isn’t coming out of no where it’s been happening for a while - [ ] A simple thank you goes a long way - [ ] Thing from 2-5 when she asked if I enjoyed it my first thought was combative not gratitude - [ ] Didn’t check the calendar - [ ] Didn’t say thanks for that time… - [ ] She usually prompts afterwards asking how it went - [ ] She is feeling very broken down right now needs help building back up - [ ] It’s exhausting fighting all the time - [ ] If her bucket is bone dry how is she supposed to listen especially when not asked - [ ] At the end of the day she wants want to feel cared for - [ ] She things you do things daily to show me she cares for me like making breakfast or buying shorts - [ ] Would be really nice to feel family has her back when she needs it -   - [x] Actions - [ ] More effort into showing I love and care for her - [ ] More gratitude for things she does - [ ] An opportunity to look at and understand it - [ ] Thought she was being clear she needs more from me - [ ] Making it clear and plain the expectation - [ ] Sucks when I don’t come to the realization and she has to point it out - [ ] She doesn’t want to fight anymore - [ ] Want to break cycle of bickering with each other