#Christina #Feelings - Sept 4th 2023
- [ ] Feels defeating when not asking to share feelings
- [ ] Held against her the disparity how often we share our feeling when not in her control
- [ ] Important to ask to share to set up for success
- [ ] Given same opportunity to drop into framework and feel successful
- [ ] Able to share feelings
- [ ] Not saying it’s not on her to try and be mindful and drop in if possible
- [ ] Since last time we talk not a single time I’ve asked to talk
- [ ] She does it
- [ ] Would appreciate it if need to ask for a break not after I’ve said something triggering
- [ ] Feels frustrating
- [ ] Trying to get ready and out the door kept asking for
- [ ] It falls to wayside
- [ ] If she is upset I do it once or twice
- [ ] Makes her feel like a team
- [ ] If she sees me not helping it’s a lot of mental load on her
- [ ] Me telling her she got to talk with her friends she can still be in a deficit
- [ ] She got to talk to friends but wasn’t without the kids
- [ ] She did all the lead up work
- [ ] Looking at one small moment instead of the overall picture
- [ ] She is still worn down try and understand that
- [ ] Not for me to decide when she feels burnt out
- [ ] Overall looking at what she has going on
- [ ] Hurtful comment about switching over laundry
- [ ] She feels like mental load of collecting the laundry and the whole process is on her
- [ ] Often the stuff she does is invisible Tupperware cupboard and other things
- [ ] She ended up doing it anyways even tho it was a joke bc it wasn’t done before she went to bed
- [ ] Overall not wanting to harp on all these things
- [ ] Just understand how your feeling
- [ ] She has been agitated and frustrated lately but a reason for that
- [ ] Tried to let me know tired and worn down
- [ ] Gone for a very long time
- [ ] Plans changed bc of Covid
- [ ] Asked to plan a date night / bday dinner
- [ ] But honestly don’t feel as important as Pokémon stuff going on
- [ ] Don’t feel like I’ve put in effort got lessen burden and appreciated
- [ ] Loved and special to me
- [ ] Since I’ve been home community days and streaming
- [ ] Before I left CD I did
- [ ] Didn’t get help I said I was going to do and give her help at cottage
- [ ] Looking for more from me right now
- [ ] Didn’t plan a day to go over Hiroshima pictures
- [ ] She thinks she has been understanding of all events going on
- [ ] Me not being here and all the summer things
- [ ] I’m still doing streaming and CD things she is left holding the bag
- [ ] Feels taken advantage of from the fam right now
- [ ] All the little things she gives up like her online job
- [ ] All these little micro concessions she gives up for our family are never seen or acknowledged
- [ ] Would feel really nice to feel like some effort was put in to show her I appreciate her
- [ ] I care and love her
- [ ] Don’t think the time and effort I put into Pokémon stuff is equal to what I do for her
- [ ] This isn’t coming out of no where it’s been happening for a while
- [ ] A simple thank you goes a long way
- [ ] Thing from 2-5 when she asked if I enjoyed it my first thought was combative not gratitude
- [ ] Didn’t check the calendar
- [ ] Didn’t say thanks for that time…
- [ ] She usually prompts afterwards asking how it went
- [ ] She is feeling very broken down right now needs help building back up
- [ ] It’s exhausting fighting all the time
- [ ] If her bucket is bone dry how is she supposed to listen especially when not asked
- [ ] At the end of the day she wants want to feel cared for
- [ ] She things you do things daily to show me she cares for me like making breakfast or buying shorts
- [ ] Would be really nice to feel family has her back when she needs it
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- [x] Actions
- [ ] More effort into showing I love and care for her
- [ ] More gratitude for things she does
- [ ] An opportunity to look at and understand it
- [ ] Thought she was being clear she needs more from me
- [ ] Making it clear and plain the expectation
- [ ] Sucks when I don’t come to the realization and she has to point it out
- [ ] She doesn’t want to fight anymore
- [ ] Want to break cycle of bickering with each other