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memory-infrastructure-palace/docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina Feelings - April 17 2022.md

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#Christina #Feelings - April 17 2022

I feel like you think its ok to keep treating me like shit bc it keeps happening. If you thought it wasnt ok you would stop doing it I assume.

Christinas feelings

  • I feel like shit

  • Dont want record of how your feeling right now

  • Very frustrated

  • Feeling really hurt with how today played out

  • Dont feel like you can trust me when Im upset about something

  • Feel like I cant look past what my reaction is to tune into her feelings

  • Eg. this afternoon with me needing to go to bathroom I explained away stuff instead of listening to her

  • Not interested in how I think I acted or why I did it

  • Was trying to share she was hurt bc of way she thought she was talked to

  • Another eg. downstairs trying to follow up how she was feeling and I got hung up on how she said a thing

  • Wanted to deflect and clear it up first

  • Said she would take out assume and that is still the way she feels

  • Putting phone in face and telling her repeatedly its a you statement not a feelings statement.

  • She felt unimportant

  • Apologizing and it still keeps happening

  • Assuming if I apologize it would stop or reduce

  • Hurtful to her about way I am hitting down notes - impersonal

  • Asked if I can do something different as its been this way for a while

  • Feel like she is a piece of trash that I can kick around

  • Not worth my time to fix it

  • Tried to bring up her feelings and first thought was to explain it away

  • Its frustrating that after a really good weekend and her being attentive to her needs

  • She tries to tell me something she needs she got the response she did

  • Even in a good place not able to tune in and listen to her feelings or respond

  • Probably went differently if asked to use the framework

  • If she is upset dont ask her whats wrong if Im not ready to talk about feelings

  • Could have let you know I need a minute before hearing her feelings

  • How am I going to work at this so it doesnt keep happening?

  • Hurts when I respond with anger or agitation

  • Cant trust she can be vulnerable with her and I emotionally take care of her

  • Can get really mean and assertive and it sucks

  • Do I think the way I am acting today when looking up the I feel statements was acceptable?

  • Sign for me:

  • Ready to talk

  • Not ready to talk

  • Think there needs to be a convo about listening