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docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina Feelings Jan 5th 2025.md

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+- [ ] Concerned by responses to her and how much she is at fault
+- [ ] She is not my opponent she is meant to be my teammate
+- [ ] Feeling defeated and exhausted
+- [ ] Feel like no effort is acknowledged and negatives are brought up often
+- [ ] Feeling beaten down by how her perceived failings are being brought an up in most of our convos
+- [ ] Feel scared to make a mistake or have a miscommunication with me
+- [ ] Need to feel kindness and grace when making a mistake 
+- [ ] Try to learn and grow with me but it is difficult when things can change so rapidly
+- [ ] Feel like every thing can be. Fine and then the first sign of friction I get frustrated and she gets talked to crappily 
+- [ ] Tone body language and actual words that are hurtful when I’m frustrated 
+- [ ] Keep trying to move past it when I apologize but it continues to keep happening
+- [ ] One example that she is hurt by was her forgetting to email about the stimara magnets 
+- [ ] From her perspectives she apologizes and offered a solution but it seemed nothing was good enough and she couldn’t stop getting “hit” with things she was doing wrong - hits keep on coming 
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+- [ ] That convo felt verbally abusive
+- [ ] I was berating her and no matter how much she apologized I kept bringing up things she was doing wrong 
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+- [ ] She doesn’t feel safe to take the time and space to heal when it gets pointed out that she is distancing herself from me
+- [ ] She does this to protect her mental health and show up for the kids
+- [ ] She is still concerned for me and thinks it would be helpful to speak to a therapist or doctor because the way I spiral after a miscommunication or something triggers me is scary to her
+- [ ] She feels scared by my reactions to her
+- [ ] Ask about taking an audio recording when I am upset and not sure how hurtful I can be
+- [ ] Hurts when I say I’m doing nothing for you in the middle of a conversation 
+- [ ] She doesn’t feel it’s fair to bring it up in a convo without first asking to share feelings or that there is something I want to talk about 
+- [ ] Things like why are we even together and I’m doing nothing for you will always be hurtful when said outside framework convo
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+The level I feel the frustration feels disproportionate to the actual thing
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+She can’t have her life fall apart for a week if she misses an opportunity to be curious 
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+Shouldn’t lead to a week of crap as it’s always going to happen
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+It seems as soon as I’m frustrated she isn’t the partner anymore but an enemy