3.1 KiB
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Feel hurt by my response to her when she was asked to watch my tone
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She was feeling bad by the way I was talking to her and she was asking to watch it so it wouldn’t continue
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It makes her feel worthless when my first response is I didn’t have a tone, did she ask or why I had a tone
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Not once did I tune in to what she was saying
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Also she was interrupted
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Not sure if I realize it but I interrupted her when she was saying can I please watch my tone
- Watch your tone please - it’s making me feel like garbage
- She was interrupted so only got out before the -
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She gets I didn’t want gravel broken up but she was just trying to be helpful
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It feels like complete shit to ask me to tune into something that’s hurting her and she gets interrupted and gets told she should do things differently
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Sometimes she just wants to feel like her needs are important and I have her
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Feels really shitty to seem like I knew I hurt her and then go right into my office
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8:45 into voice check on tone of voice
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That’s the voice that makes her feel like shit
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Would have been really nice to check in before going into my office
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Feels really shitty and lonely to go into my office and close the door
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Multiple times today she has adjusted today to suite my needs
- This morning letting me know we were good and giving her some space
- In the car ride when we started to go to the movies and I took a wrong turn
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She is wanting some reciprocal consideration
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She feels she is expending a lot of effort right now but she is not seeing a lot returned to make her feel better in this relationship
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She felt frustrated several times today being interrupted and I was able to tell the kids not to do it Feeling angry and resentful right now
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Just today this has her feeling shitty
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Interactions before she left for work
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As well on the drive in and interrupted her three times
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Pointed out to Alice to take a look at what she is doing
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Feeling defeated and disrespected. It’s consistently when she is trying to bring something to my attention
Actions
- Look for a way to change “Watch your tone…” doesn’t matter what comes after it but it seems to be a common trigger for me
- She could say “can you stop using that tone of voice with me” but might still get into me asking questions and she doesn’t want that when in that headspace
- Be aware when she is busy… not sure how to fix question for therapist maybe
Don’t care if I know that I’m using a tone of voice she just wants me to know it’s hurting you in that moment
Her headspace when I use a tone of voice She is feeling upset and triggered all the times I have used a shitty tone
- could be something like I still love you I need time to myself right now
- Like I have asked of her
- Hey I see your feeling sad upstairs I need time to cool off then I’d like to hear your feelings
- Any sort of acknowledgment I have hurt her
- To not feel invisible and that I don’t give a shit that I have hurt her