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memory-infrastructure-palace/docs/projects/memorypalace/Apple Notes/Dec 18 2022.md

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Raw Blame History

  • Upset that yesterday seemed to focus on her not using framework properly

  • Take ownership that the comment was her opinion over feelings

  • Asked for time and space for feeling to share

  • No judgement or expectation

  • Asked to clarify when I was talking about and tried to replay the scenarios

  • Used to turn around on her

  • Not that she doesnt want to hear opinion or feelings but wasnt right time

  • She asked first so listen

  • Sucks that it escalated to me raising voice and she asked to lower voice

  • Upsetting when matched voice to hers

  • Upsetting to her how mean I can be when Im upset

  • Acknowledge that how I talk to her isnt ok

  • Hasnt seen a change or improvement

  • But because of framework and breaks

  • When framework isnt used default is to lash out and attack her

  • Its not ok

  • Trying to get across last night

  • She didnt care was meaning I didnt have the right to treat her like crap

  • I could choose to remove myself

  • She isnt going to use framework every time but not a pass to treat her like garbage

  • When I lash out like I do makes it so she doesnt want to be around me

  • Not much positives to pull from

  • Already on empty

  • Already dont feel important

  • Dont feel cherished or treasured like a life partner

  • Nothing left to fill her back up and it sucks

  • Makes it so she isnt able to be the parent that she wants to be

  • Has very real and negative consequences on mental health and self worth

  • Want to know I have a plan to fix it

  • Sorry isnt good enough

  • Hope I will be able to put some time and energy into it

Notes:

#Christina