- [ ] She is sad and hurt how I looked at and talked to her in my office last night
- [ ] She knocked I turned and had said yes
- [ ] To her it seemed that I was able to talk
- [ ] She was exhausted after a long day at work and and girl guides was trying to figure out what needed to happen with the laundry
- [ ] To get the response she did really hurt 
- [ ] She can ask if I am good to talk after she knocks and I have both headphones over both ears
- [ ] She felt surprised and upset by the convo in the laundry room
- [ ] It felt things that I was listing she did wrong that made her feel blamed
- [ ] She wished I would have asked if she was able to talk to give a lead up to the conversation 
- [ ] She feels defeated in the response I gave when she let me know she put garbage out
- [ ] Previously I have asked to let me know things she had done so i can appreciate it
- [ ] It made sense to her running through the list of todo items before relaxing for the night
- [ ] She doesn’t think of it as my job and that I didn’t do it and she appreciates when I put the garbage out
- [ ] I have asked before for appreciation or reinforcement and last night I said I didn’t care about it (taking the garbage out)
- [ ] A really shitty missed opportunity on my part where I could have asked where she was coming from
- [ ] It lead to hurtful things being said by her. Things that I do efforts she has made off of things I have said I would like
- [ ] She doesn’t appreciate me bringing up I wanted to be heard out like she was heard out about her and the texts from my mom
- [ ] Last night I didn’t ask to share and it was an upsetting conversation 
- [ ] If one of us feels heard outside of asking for time that’s great but at this point shouldn’t be an expectation and shouldn’t be brought up when it doesn’t happen
- [ ] It was an unfair expectation based on circumstances last night and honestly felt like I was throwing it in her face
- [ ] I did this for her so she does it for me and felt so shitty
- [ ] Especially when she knows for a fact she has been bending over backwards to check in see how I’m doing listen to how I’m feeling as I have been saying I haven’t been in the best space over the last week
- [ ] She feels she has been showing up for me but got tossed to shit last night
- [ ] She understands it might feel real to me in that moment but it’s untrue and it hurts 
- [ ] She is not a monster asshole who does nothing for me

- [ ] Conversation in the laundry room felt abrasive and she felt trapped in there
- [ ] Felt like I came in hot and I started unloading on her
- [ ] She didn’t appreciate it and it didn’t feel respectful

- [ ] She remembers me coming in while she was scooping litter me standing there and waiting


Actions
- Get a voice recorder that can last a day and transcribe all conversations
- ask to share feelings
- Try not to make absolute statements that are hurtful or untrue
- Try and be kind when talking to people