- [ ] Feel hurt by my response to her when she was asked to watch my tone
- [ ] She was feeling bad by the way I was talking to her and she was asking to watch it so it wouldn’t continue
- [ ] It makes her feel worthless when my first response is I didn’t have a tone, did she ask or why I had a tone
- [ ] Not once did I tune in to what she was saying
- [ ] Also she was interrupted
- [ ] Not sure if I realize it but I interrupted her when she was saying can I please watch my tone
	- [ ] Watch your tone please - it’s making me feel like garbage 
	- [ ] She was interrupted so only got out before the -
- [ ] She gets I didn’t want gravel broken up but she was just trying to be helpful
- [ ] It feels like complete shit to ask me to tune into something that’s hurting her and she gets interrupted and gets told she should do things differently
- [ ] Sometimes she just wants to feel like her needs are important and I have her

- [ ] Feels really shitty to seem like I knew I hurt her and then go right into my office
- [ ] 8:45 into voice check on tone of voice
- [ ] That’s the voice that makes her feel like shit

- [ ] Would have been really nice to check in before going into my office 
- [ ] Feels really shitty and lonely to go into my office and close the door
- [ ] Multiple times today she has adjusted today to suite my needs
	- [ ] This morning letting me know we were good and giving her some space
	- [ ] In the car ride when we started to go to the movies and I took a wrong turn 
- [ ] She is wanting some reciprocal consideration

- [ ] She feels she is expending a lot of effort right now but she is not seeing a lot returned to make her feel better in this relationship
- [ ] She felt frustrated several times today being interrupted and I was able to tell the kids not to do it
 Feeling angry and resentful right now
- [ ] Just today this has her feeling shitty

- [ ] Interactions before she left for work
- [ ] As well on the drive in and interrupted her three times
- [ ] Pointed out to Alice to take a look at what she is doing
- [ ] Feeling defeated and disrespected. It’s consistently when she is trying to bring something to my attention 


Actions 
- [ ] Look for a way to change “Watch your tone…” doesn’t matter what comes after it but it seems to be a common trigger for me
- [ ] She could say “can you stop using that tone of voice with me” but might still get into me asking questions and she doesn’t want that when in that headspace
- [ ] Be aware when she is busy… not sure how to fix question for therapist maybe

Don’t care if I know that I’m using a tone of voice she just wants me to know it’s hurting you in that moment

Her headspace when I use a tone of voice
She is feeling upset and triggered all the times I have used a shitty tone 

- could be something like I still love you I need time to myself right now
- Like I have asked of her
- Hey I see your feeling sad upstairs I need time to cool off then I’d like to hear your feelings
- Any sort of acknowledgment I have hurt her
- To not feel invisible and that I don’t give a shit that I have hurt her