- [ ] Still feel unresolved from the conversation from two days ago in the morning
- [ ] Feel confused by my reaction to her sharing
- [ ] Based on previous conversations where she specifically asked or checking if i am not prepared to hear feelings
- [ ] I understood and agreed to this
- [ ] So when I asked why does her face look like that her understanding was I was able to listen to what she was going to share
- [ ] She is upset about how the convo went yesterday morning
- [ ] She asked if I was able to listen and I asked what it was about, she thought she briefly told me and I affirmed it was ok
- [ ] She let me know it wasn’t feelings based
- [ ] She was trying to do the things I asked for in owning what she could 
- [ ] She interpreted me taking notes as making myself better available to listen
- [ ] She feels really unloved by me when I am frustrated or think I have made a mistake
- [ ] Feel exhausted and overwhelmed by many facets of life right now and she doesn’t feel like I support her in the way she need or deserve
- [ ] She is so sad and so tired by recent interactions 
- [ ] So many moments, holidays, memories have been “ruined” by us fighting 
- [ ] She wants more for her and the kids than the tension and them seeing her cry all the time
- [ ] She is hurt by the way she was talked to the past few days
- [ ] It seemed very negative towards her efforts harsh and unkind
- [ ] For example what a crazy world that it hasn’t been five seconds or her saying appreciation is never a bad thing and I say she has to earn respect to get respect
- [ ] Lastly she is frustrated that she can be held so responsible for interrupting me two nights ago
- [ ] She apologized and owned it
- [ ] And it gets brought up and thrown in her face like outside the store
- [ ] Yet I interrupted her yesterday and I say sorry and moved on
- [ ] It feels really unfair 
- [ ] It makes her feel unloved that I can be so unkind when things are not totally calm
- [ ] This is not a new thing that she has been asking for grace when she makes a mistake
- [ ] She is hurt and scared by my responses when I am frustrated or upset with her
- [ ] The way things happened yesterday and the way that I talked to her scared her and reminded her of how I was on Easter weekend
- [ ] From where she is at I haven’t resolved that with her
- [ ] Or earned back her trust that I can be in control of my emotions or I can be safe 

What’s needed to resolve two days ago convo
- [ ] Need to go back and read what she shared with me
- [ ] Convo was side tracked and I asked for a break
- [ ] Her feeling unloved 

Earning back trust
- [ ] Doesn’t know how can earn it back
- [ ] Besides how I decide to treat her going forward
- [ ] When mistakes happen
- [ ] Not asking to share
- [ ] Not being curious 
- [ ] Interrupting
- [ ] How we go forward in that together and how I treat her afterwards

Action items
- [ ] Make sure when asking what is up to be prepared for all feelings or whatever is on her mind
- [ ] Put a stop to convo if I haven’t actually agreed to it
- [ ] When mistakes happen she needs me to be kind and give grace
- [ ] Being shared to and not in a place to listen let her know to stop it resume later
- [ ] Fix the way I respond to her when angry or mad - working on lessening resentment from previous interactions and work on the one interaction right now


Other talks:
- [ ] Wish I had let her know I wasn’t good to listen yesterday 
- [ ] Don’t let it continue (placing onus on me to stop this…)
- [ ] She can check in more and ask if still good to listen