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docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina feelings - mar 1 2025.md

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+- [ ] Feel hurt by my response to her when she was asked to watch my tone
+- [ ] She was feeling bad by the way I was talking to her and she was asking to watch it so it wouldn’t continue
+- [ ] It makes her feel worthless when my first response is I didn’t have a tone, did she ask or why I had a tone
+- [ ] Not once did I tune in to what she was saying
+- [ ] Also she was interrupted
+- [ ] Not sure if I realize it but I interrupted her when she was saying can I please watch my tone
+	- [ ] Watch your tone please - it’s making me feel like garbage 
+	- [ ] She was interrupted so only got out before the -
+- [ ] She gets I didn’t want gravel broken up but she was just trying to be helpful
+- [ ] It feels like complete shit to ask me to tune into something that’s hurting her and she gets interrupted and gets told she should do things differently
+- [ ] Sometimes she just wants to feel like her needs are important and I have her
+
+- [ ] Feels really shitty to seem like I knew I hurt her and then go right into my office
+- [ ] 8:45 into voice check on tone of voice
+- [ ] That’s the voice that makes her feel like shit
+
+- [ ] Would have been really nice to check in before going into my office 
+- [ ] Feels really shitty and lonely to go into my office and close the door
+- [ ] Multiple times today she has adjusted today to suite my needs
+	- [ ] This morning letting me know we were good and giving her some space
+	- [ ] In the car ride when we started to go to the movies and I took a wrong turn 
+- [ ] She is wanting some reciprocal consideration
+
+- [ ] She feels she is expending a lot of effort right now but she is not seeing a lot returned to make her feel better in this relationship
+- [ ] She felt frustrated several times today being interrupted and I was able to tell the kids not to do it
+ Feeling angry and resentful right now
+- [ ] Just today this has her feeling shitty
+
+- [ ] Interactions before she left for work
+- [ ] As well on the drive in and interrupted her three times
+- [ ] Pointed out to Alice to take a look at what she is doing
+- [ ] Feeling defeated and disrespected. It’s consistently when she is trying to bring something to my attention 
+
+
+Actions 
+- [ ] Look for a way to change “Watch your tone…” doesn’t matter what comes after it but it seems to be a common trigger for me
+- [ ] She could say “can you stop using that tone of voice with me” but might still get into me asking questions and she doesn’t want that when in that headspace
+- [ ] Be aware when she is busy… not sure how to fix question for therapist maybe
+
+Don’t care if I know that I’m using a tone of voice she just wants me to know it’s hurting you in that moment
+
+Her headspace when I use a tone of voice
+She is feeling upset and triggered all the times I have used a shitty tone 
+
+- could be something like I still love you I need time to myself right now
+- Like I have asked of her
+- Hey I see your feeling sad upstairs I need time to cool off then I’d like to hear your feelings
+- Any sort of acknowledgment I have hurt her
+- To not feel invisible and that I don’t give a shit that I have hurt her