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docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina feelings - May 31 2025.md

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+- [ ] Clarify from Thursday morning she didn’t hear I was just advocating for Charlie 
+- [ ] What she heard what I was saying twisting what she said to Charlie making her feel frustrated and flustered
+- [ ] Felt convo with him was interrupted 
+- [ ] Felt blamed 
+- [ ] Felt surprised bringing it into her frustration when she was trying tot all with Charlie
+- [ ] From convo in bedroom Thursday
+- [ ] Feel that even if it’s someone’s time to share she feels that expectation is there for apologizing interrupting
+- [ ] Said I was upset I had to apologize I had to apologize even tho it was my time to share 
+- [ ] Feel angry she had changed what she was going to say
+- [ ] Feel I would have been very upset if she said same thing to me and are very upset if she puts words in my mouth 
+- [ ] It felt presumptive and talked down to
+- [ ] It was also not true and did not factor in that she could have decided herself that she could have apologized for both points 
+- [ ] How negative I am towards her when frustrated is upsetting g for example
+- [ ] Swearing at her and making negative comments 
+- [ ] Feel hurt by the things I said to her on Thursday 
+- [ ] Don’t trust the way I talk to her when I’m frustrated 
+- [ ] Need to feel safe and respected even when upset 
+- [ ] Had made mistakes and she owned up to them and gave action items
+- [ ] My response to her felt very hostile
+- [ ] So she distanced herself 
+- [ ] later she was upset and crying on the couch 
+- [ ] I came out and started talking to her in a self deprecating way 
+- [ ] She didn’t have anything left
+- [ ] Her emotions had not been attended to
+- [ ] And she was visibly upset
+- [ ] She did not trust my words so toook space and protected herself
+- [ ] She let me know she didn’t feel safe engaging in convo or being near me
+- [ ] I told her there was time sooner she could have done it
+- [ ] Which was when I was sharing and she was writing things down 
+ Innately sidestepping what she was sharing and making you feel unsafe 
+- [ ] She has been telling me she needs to be cared for 
+- [ ] She is still feeling and working through what happened at Easter 
+- [ ] How I talked to her was not ok and takes her back to then
+- [ ] She is feeling letdown by my and how I show up
+- [ ] Disgusted by how I responded to her when she let me know she did t feel safe 
+- [ ] And that’s be needed space to protect herself own mental health feel like she keeps giving and trying 
+- [ ] We have had several convos where we were both able to feel heard and listen to each other even when frustrating 
+- [ ] She has been consistently owning what she can and apologizing 
+- [ ] She has been very mindful not assigning meaning to what I’m saying 
+- [ ] Being aware to ask if needed 
+- [ ] Nothing ever seems enough when I’m upset
+- [ ] It’s exhausting and really hurtful to be the victim of the way I talk to her when upset 
+- [ ] she needs to feel like she can make mistakes or have miscommunications because we experience things very differently and not have it be a complete shit spiral of feeling like everything is terrible and that there has been no positives 
+
+- think that sometimes we can alternate 
+
+Stop inserting what I think or feel into this
+Her time to share
+
+To her telling her what I have written down is like her saying I didn’t hear that in advocating for Charlie
+
+Two instances where she gave physical comfort and put my needs? Above hers
+
+I asked if I missed anything out if she has anything else
+
+She wanted me to write it down reiterate it and repeat it
+
+- [ ] Basically to summarize what she was saying was that twice she has made sure to give physical comfort even when she wanted space and she was upset
+
+- [ ] She wants to feel like there is space for her to be comforted when we are both upset
+- [ ] Currently she feels it’s her always reaching out to connect
+- [ ] She very much feels uncared for and unloved and unappreciated when there are points of tension
+- [ ] She is upset at how many times I told her my perspective on things and dropped out of the framework in convo before leaving tot take Easton home
+- [ ] She is upset that I made a comment that it seems like I was being setup to fail
+- [ ] This makes her feel like I see her as vindictive or manipulating 
+- [ ] Don’t talk to her through the bathroom door
+- [ ] Do not knock and try to come in without her answering me
+- [ ] Feels extremely disrespectful of her privacy
+- [ ] She feels upset that I didn’t check if I had the contact info before trying to get from her
+- [ ] Her time and privacy is valuable to
+
+
+Action item
+- [ ] Dig deeper when things are not successful to be there for her when she is feeling upset
+- [ ] Don’t bring this energy to her when she is sad and upset
+- [ ] Keep writing stuff down when done initial sharing 
+- [ ] Give privacy when in the Bathroom make sure to knock and get answer first
+- [ ] Check phone for pertinent info before going to you
+- [ ] Try and improve the way i treat her when I am frustrated
+- [ ] Stopping myself when I am being unkind 
+	- [ ] Sensitive to and still working through what happened at Easter 
+
+Wants to clarify not wanting to be manipulative but looking to comfort me
+
+Doesn’t feel like much has been done in the way of being kind to her when upset 
+ - she talking about have successful arguments where both were upset she confirmed that I was in fact kind for those to be successful
+
+After she had said I had attacked her during g my convo with her
+Then she quickly changed it
+She did not interact with me like I did her - assigning