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docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina feelings - July 14 2025.md

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+- [ ] First off if she is sharing her feelings and I am asking to make an observation she would appreciate it being kept short and appreciate checking in to see if she is good along the way
+- [ ] She doesn’t appreciate the way I treated her or talked to her today
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+- [ ] She is exhausted trying to meet the emotional needs of the kids and at this point she would rather not talk or interact with me
+- [ ] Just leaves her feeling terrible
+- [ ] She feels frustrated and sad that this continued resentment keeps being brought often into interactions 
+- [ ] She can’t get out from underneath the weight of how frustrated I can be with you and how upset I am by it
+- [ ] I said I don’t know how to let it go or have it all come flooding back but she can’t keep doing this
+- [ ] She is exhausted
+- [ ] It doesn’t feel like there is space for her to need things or for me to take the lead and take care of her
+- [ ] She needs more than what she’s getting from me right now emotionally 
+- [ ] She was looking forward to me going away this weekend because it’s emotionally more peaceful for her
+- [ ] Yes it’s harder and more work being the only parent and it’s exhausting but right now the relationship with me is exhausting too
+- [ ] Feel like she is second guessing everything she say and how it could be better for me
+- [ ] She gets lost along the way in what she needs or what she is feeling and her mattering
+- [ ] She can’t keep living with this resentment I keep bringing into interactions and it’s not fair
+- [ ] She is tired and she is sad 
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+
+Clarifying questions
+- [ ] Did I mention resentment and where?
+	- [ ] Me mentioning my resentment and it flooding back during convo over lunch and this mornings walk
+		- [ ] It was in regards to the instagram post she sent 
+		- [ ] I seemed frustrated and she tied that to me being resentful and does not want to know why I was frustrated (my point of view)
+		- [ ] I don’t remember saying these things but wanted to share what I was trying to say 
+		- [ ] Not in a place to listen to my feelings right now
+	- [ ] Doesn’t feel comfortable and dread talking to me
+	- [ ] One small thing can change things and the next day is shit
+	- [ ] She is tired and she is sad
+- [ ] What does that mean for us in her mind 
+	- [ ] She doesn’t know
+	- [ ] She doesn’t like the feeling of relief that I was going to be away that she was looking forward to me not being in the house because it would be easier emotionally for her
+	- [ ] She needs to feel safe to make mistakes and not a lingering resentment hanging over her
+	- [ ] She needs to feel safe with me and that I have her back when she needs it not make whatever situation she is in harder
+	- [ ] She says she loves me and cares for me but she is feeling really beaten down right now
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+- [ ] She is exhausted from feeling like garbage and she isn’t good enough and she can’t make mistakes
+- [ ] Smallest convo with me can go sideways and leads to friction and feeling emotionally unsafe around me for sometimes days
+- [ ] She can’t do it anymore 
+- [ ] She can’t keep doing it and keep showing up for the kids the way they need
+- [ ] She has nothing left and don’t want to keep fighting to get a scrap of empathy or concern for her or for having her needs be important 
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+Stems back to convo we have had for months and that’s how I treat her when I’m frustrated and how I treat her when things go an unexpected way for me
+- I think somethings going to happen and it’s different and how I treat her after
+- Generally unkind and not respectful
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+
+Actions
+- [ ] Keep observations short
+- [ ] Checking when making observations to make sure good to continue (still Christina’s time to talk and share feelings)
+- [ ] Take a step back and breath before answering in harder convos
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+She is feeling heard out and nothing else to share