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docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina feeling - Dec 17 2024.md

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+- [ ] She feels worthless by the way I talk to her when frustrated
+- [ ] She is afraid to make small mistakes or have a miscommunication with me
+- [ ] Cause of how the whole energy shifts 
+- [ ] When I’m frustrated
+- [ ] Instead of a productive conversation it becomes her getting blamed or me saying hurtful things
+- [ ] Feel like she is only as good as her last mistake
+- [ ] Feel like not matter how hard she tries or how much she does it gets obliterated at the slightest sign of frustration
+- [ ] She is exhausted and defeated when things go from being totally fine between us to hostile and tense instantly 
+- [ ] It felt terrible yesterday to have a panic attack and not be able to breath as a result of a conversation on where to sit on the couch
+- [ ] It didn’t need to be that way I could have been kind, I could have not interrupted her and tried to figure it out with me
+- [ ] There was no ill intent there seemed like just a difference of view points 
+- [ ] She fully intended to sit with me
+- [ ] Don’t know how it can go from good to shit in 4 seconds
+
+- [ ] Thoughts and emotions are spiralling right now
+- [ ] It feels like complete shit to not be worth the time or energy to clarify something with me before getting frustrated 
+- [ ] Continued mistreatment by me when I’m frustrated 
+
+Why couldn’t I be patient and wait to ask to sit with her
+
+- [ ] Wanted to feel heard and seen from this conversation
+- [ ] Didn’t sit with and try and understand it
+- [ ] See what she was sharing with me
+
+- [ ] Doesn’t mean there isn’t something she could improve on
+- [ ] Sit wit  that and it be enough