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docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina Feelings May 10 2025.md

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+- [ ] Still feel unresolved from the conversation from two days ago in the morning
+- [ ] Feel confused by my reaction to her sharing
+- [ ] Based on previous conversations where she specifically asked or checking if i am not prepared to hear feelings
+- [ ] I understood and agreed to this
+- [ ] So when I asked why does her face look like that her understanding was I was able to listen to what she was going to share
+- [ ] She is upset about how the convo went yesterday morning
+- [ ] She asked if I was able to listen and I asked what it was about, she thought she briefly told me and I affirmed it was ok
+- [ ] She let me know it wasn’t feelings based
+- [ ] She was trying to do the things I asked for in owning what she could 
+- [ ] She interpreted me taking notes as making myself better available to listen
+- [ ] She feels really unloved by me when I am frustrated or think I have made a mistake
+- [ ] Feel exhausted and overwhelmed by many facets of life right now and she doesn’t feel like I support her in the way she need or deserve
+- [ ] She is so sad and so tired by recent interactions 
+- [ ] So many moments, holidays, memories have been “ruined” by us fighting 
+- [ ] She wants more for her and the kids than the tension and them seeing her cry all the time
+- [ ] She is hurt by the way she was talked to the past few days
+- [ ] It seemed very negative towards her efforts harsh and unkind
+- [ ] For example what a crazy world that it hasn’t been five seconds or her saying appreciation is never a bad thing and I say she has to earn respect to get respect
+- [ ] Lastly she is frustrated that she can be held so responsible for interrupting me two nights ago
+- [ ] She apologized and owned it
+- [ ] And it gets brought up and thrown in her face like outside the store
+- [ ] Yet I interrupted her yesterday and I say sorry and moved on
+- [ ] It feels really unfair 
+- [ ] It makes her feel unloved that I can be so unkind when things are not totally calm
+- [ ] This is not a new thing that she has been asking for grace when she makes a mistake
+- [ ] She is hurt and scared by my responses when I am frustrated or upset with her
+- [ ] The way things happened yesterday and the way that I talked to her scared her and reminded her of how I was on Easter weekend
+- [ ] From where she is at I haven’t resolved that with her
+- [ ] Or earned back her trust that I can be in control of my emotions or I can be safe 
+
+What’s needed to resolve two days ago convo
+- [ ] Need to go back and read what she shared with me
+- [ ] Convo was side tracked and I asked for a break
+- [ ] Her feeling unloved 
+
+Earning back trust
+- [ ] Doesn’t know how can earn it back
+- [ ] Besides how I decide to treat her going forward
+- [ ] When mistakes happen
+- [ ] Not asking to share
+- [ ] Not being curious 
+- [ ] Interrupting
+- [ ] How we go forward in that together and how I treat her afterwards
+
+Action items
+- [ ] Make sure when asking what is up to be prepared for all feelings or whatever is on her mind
+- [ ] Put a stop to convo if I haven’t actually agreed to it
+- [ ] When mistakes happen she needs me to be kind and give grace
+- [ ] Being shared to and not in a place to listen let her know to stop it resume later
+- [ ] Fix the way I respond to her when angry or mad - working on lessening resentment from previous interactions and work on the one interaction right now
+
+
+Other talks:
+- [ ] Wish I had let her know I wasn’t good to listen yesterday 
+- [ ] Don’t let it continue (placing onus on me to stop this…)
+- [ ] She can check in more and ask if still good to listen