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docs/projects/memorypalace/Christina/Feelings Conversations/Christina Feelings - Sept 4th 2023.md

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+#Christina #Feelings - Sept  4th 2023
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+- [ ] Feels defeating when not asking to share feelings
+- [ ] Held against her the disparity how often we share our feeling when not in her control
+- [ ] Important to ask to share to set up for success
+- [ ] Given same opportunity to drop into framework and feel successful
+- [ ] Able to share feelings
+- [ ] Not saying it’s not on her to try and be mindful and drop in if possible
+- [ ] Since last time we talk not a single time I’ve asked to talk
+- [ ] She does it
+- [ ] Would appreciate it if need to ask for a break not after I’ve said something triggering
+- [ ] Feels frustrating
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+- [ ] Trying to get ready and out the door kept asking for
+- [ ] It falls to wayside 
+- [ ] If she is upset I do it once or twice 
+- [ ] Makes her feel like a team
+- [ ] If she sees me not helping it’s a lot of mental load on her
+- [ ] Me telling her she got to talk with her friends she can still be in a deficit 
+- [ ] She got to talk to friends but wasn’t without the kids
+- [ ] She did all the lead up work
+- [ ] Looking at one small moment instead of the overall picture
+- [ ] She is still worn down try and understand that
+- [ ] Not for me to decide when she feels burnt out
+- [ ] Overall looking at what she has going on
+- [ ] Hurtful comment about switching over laundry
+- [ ] She feels like mental load of collecting the laundry and the whole process is on her
+- [ ] Often the stuff she does is invisible Tupperware cupboard and other things
+- [ ] She ended up doing it anyways even tho it was a joke bc it wasn’t done before she went to bed
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+- [ ] Overall not wanting to harp on all these things 
+- [ ] Just understand how your feeling
+- [ ] She has been agitated and frustrated lately but a reason for that
+- [ ] Tried to let me know tired and worn down
+- [ ] Gone for a very long time
+- [ ] Plans changed bc of Covid
+- [ ] Asked to plan a date night / bday dinner
+- [ ] But honestly don’t feel as important as Pokémon stuff going on
+- [ ] Don’t feel like I’ve put in effort got lessen burden and appreciated
+- [ ] Loved and special to me
+- [ ] Since I’ve been home community days and streaming
+- [ ] Before I left CD I did
+- [ ] Didn’t get help I said I was going to do and give her help at cottage
+- [ ] Looking for more from me right now
+- [ ] Didn’t plan a day to go over Hiroshima pictures
+- [ ] She thinks she has been understanding of all events going on
+- [ ] Me not being here and all the summer things
+- [ ] I’m still doing streaming and CD things she is left holding the bag
+- [ ] Feels taken advantage of from the fam right now
+- [ ] All the little things she gives up like her online job
+- [ ] All these little micro concessions she gives up for our family are never seen or acknowledged
+- [ ] Would feel really nice to feel like some effort was put in to show her I appreciate her
+- [ ] I care and love her
+- [ ] Don’t think the time and effort I put into Pokémon stuff is equal to what I do for her
+- [ ] This isn’t coming out of no where it’s been happening for a while
+- [ ] A simple thank you goes a long way
+- [ ] Thing from 2-5 when she asked if I enjoyed it my first thought was combative not gratitude 
+- [ ] Didn’t check the calendar
+- [ ] Didn’t say thanks for that time…
+- [ ] She usually prompts afterwards asking how it went
+- [ ] She is feeling very broken down right now needs help building back up
+- [ ] It’s exhausting fighting all the time
+- [ ] If her bucket is bone dry how is she supposed to listen especially when not asked
+- [ ] At the end of the day she wants want to feel cared for
+- [ ] She things you do things daily to show me she cares for me like making breakfast or buying shorts
+- [ ] Would be really nice to feel family has her back when she needs it
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+	- [x] Actions
+- [ ] <b><i><u>Mor</u></i></b><b><i><u>e</u></i></b> <b><i><u>effort</u></i></b> <b><i><u>into s</u></i></b><b><i><u>howing</u></i></b> <b><i><u>I love</u></i></b> <b><i><u>and care</u></i></b> <b><i><u>for he</u></i></b><b><i><u>r</u></i></b>
+- [ ] <b><i><u>More g</u></i></b><b><i><u>rati</u></i></b><b><i><u>tude</u></i></b> <b><i><u>for</u></i></b> <b><i><u>things she</u></i></b> <b><i><u>does</u></i></b>
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+- [ ] An opportunity to look at and understand it
+- [ ] Thought she was being clear she needs more from me
+- [ ] Making it clear and plain the expectation
+- [ ] Sucks when I don’t come to the realization and she has to point it out
+- [ ] She doesn’t want to fight anymore 
+- [ ] Want to break cycle of bickering with each other